So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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