But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
