I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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