Sponge bath it is.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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