my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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