Porn is love you can see.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
