just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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