There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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