I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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