You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
