Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he puts the penis in happiness.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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