Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
