I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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