Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she smelled like a LAN party
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
