I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
