hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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