That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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