You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
