clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
