were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
