then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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