i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
