Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
