I cockslap morals
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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