I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
