He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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