Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
