I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
