it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
