Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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