the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
