it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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