Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
