dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Randomize
