It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
