I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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