hotel room ftw
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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