i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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