just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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