theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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