dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
