i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
