question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You took a bar mat shot.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
