i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
