This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
