i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
