Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize