So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
