We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I understand Curling. That high.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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