But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
