i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
