Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
