I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
