i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
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