You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
