i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
