So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
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FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
3pm strippers are depressing
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
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idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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