mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
