you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
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So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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