i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize