True but thats because hes a fetus.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
