there's paper in my vomit.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
