You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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