Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
