like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
