Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize