So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
