Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
