dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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