Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
